Even if you’re happy with your life choices, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the “what if?”
What if I stayed in that city?
What if I had prioritised romance over independence?
What if I took that job?
What if I had stood up for myself better?
What if I had done things differently?
Once you get caught in this loop of regretful reflection, it’s difficult to switch your brain away. Our imaginations can go wild with the thoughts of what could have been. And since these are just fantasies, we focus on the highlight reels and honeymoon periods of these choices. Yet reality, these alternate decisions would probably be just as challenging as our real lives are now–just a different kind of challenge.
Getting caught up on how things “could have been” doesn’t serve us, though. It can make us anxious, resentful, and worst of all, lead to a lack of self-trust.
So how do we escape from these “what ifs?”
First, we have to let go of that self-judgment. Whatever decision you made, you made it based on the experiences and knowledge you had available to you at that time. Don’t beat up past you for not knowing what present you knows now.
Second, remember that you are strong, capable, and adaptable. This is where that self-trust comes in! You may have convinced yourself things would be easier for you in your “what if” scenario. But you can still handle any challenges that exist in your real life now!
Finally, try some embodied practices to help you cultivate that sense of self-trust and empowerment. Try a strong vinyasa flow, take a sexy dance class, or even just go for a run. Challenging and connecting with your body can help you feel more grounded and connected with yourself.
Self-trust is one of the most important parts of emotional intelligence. Once you have it, you truly feel unstoppable.
If you’re looking for some more support developing it for yourself, our Cultivating Emotional Wellbeing Course is the place to start. We offer practical, easy-to-use tools to help you re-establish contact with your body’s wisdom. Check it out today, and drop a comment below if you’re looking for more support.