I’m 28 and single. I don’t feel bad about this at all.

Weddings make you often think about your own love life, and I’m not immune to this. Being the only bridesmaid without a plus one for the third wedding this year feels like a romantic comedy plot, and I can’t help but feel a little sad when the slow songs come on and I sit solo at a table with my gin & tonic. As I’ve watched many of my friends get married, and many more settle into comfortable committed relationships, I begin to wonder if I’m doing something wrong. 

Why can’t I find someone? Am I just too closed off to let someone in? Am I too comfortable having this big hotel bed all to myself to even imagine inviting another in?

I’m grateful to be at a place in my life where I fully understand my worth and my value. After so long of underestimating myself though, I feel much more cautious about protecting my time, energy, and spirit. It’s difficult, too, to let someone in when being single has become such a big part of your identity. I love my little routines and hobbies and habits that don’t involve anyone else. It needs to feel worth it to make those compromises.

More than anything though, it’s the weight of others’ expectations that makes me feel bad about being partner-less. Sometimes I worry that my friends would find it easier if I was part of a couple, as it would make our social plans more streamlined. I hear my mother’s comments about grandchildren and know that even in her jokes there’s some truth in there. 

I’m happy about my life choices, though. So many of the incredible things I’ve done in my life would have never been possible if I had a partner, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. I can handle not having a plus-one to my best friend’s wedding if it means I get to live in two new countries, get an advanced degree, and start my own business.

I’m on my own journey, my own timeline, and it’s nothing to feel bad about.