Healing can be uncomfortable and, at times, challenging. During 2019 and 2020, I experienced a few “dark nights of the soul” myself, and it wasn’t where I wanted to go.
Coming from a culture that looks down on therapy and coaching, combined with my inability to ask for help, it was not pretty. I was resisting as long as I could, holding it all together—until the pandemic, grieving the loss of my Dad, my separation, moving houses, losing my job and income, and a small identity crisis all hit at once. It was a lot, but I think I needed a lot to look at how my habitual behaviour (and some life circumstances, of course) got me to the stage of living in deep meaninglessness.
Later, I realised that surrendering and fully feeling the pain brought on by these changes would have gotten me through that period a lot quicker. Doing “the work” piece by piece, rather than ignoring it and distracting myself would have been better for my mental wellbeing. But I didn’t know how to do it—how to deal with discomfort, suffering, grief and sadness, and uncertainty. Unfortunately, this isn’t something we learn at school.
The thing that helped me get through that dark period was opening up about my struggles to people I trusted. Initially, the circle of trust was very small: my coach, my therapist, and a friend going through similar life experiences. Later on, I discovered an online community and participated in women’s circles. Each time I spoke, my voice trembled less and less, I felt less shame, and was less worried about how this showing of weakness might taint my independent, strong, successful woman image.
When we listen to each other in groups, when we speak up and feel heard and understood, our most basic human needs are met. When we speak out loud our darkest and most hidden secret, and it is received without judgment, the healing can begin. There is no need to push it away or ignore it anymore; all is welcome, all of me is welcome. A welcoming, compassionate group can be just what we need to feel accepted.
Living a human life to the fullest is not easy, some existential givens are inevitable. We will all experience loss, grief, love, disappointment, fear, frustration, or illness at one point in our lives. When we openly share our personal experiences, we can recognise ourselves and also see other perspectives. This is how human communities have always worked: Village elders were always there to show guidance, and community rituals were templates for all the healing modalities needed to overcome the difficulties in our lifetime.
Modern women’s circles, men’s circles, retreats, and group coaching programmes (and even, to some extent, your circle of friends in the local pub!) all mimic that function of coming together to heal. These communities can give you the necessary support to work through your day-to-day challenges if well-chosen.
At Centrd Life, our aim has always been to facilitate a community where people come together to ask questions and support each other. There is enormous power in belonging – it can accelerate the healing process. With that in mind, we have decided to expand our self-study courses and offer further support by creating a group coaching program.
This three-month group coaching begins on May 23rd and will focus on developing emotional maturity. There will be smaller peer groups (we call them support pods) to further your progress. We’ll all meet in virtual coaching sessions twice a month to integrate the learnings and answer your questions.
We hope that the people who join this community are not just going through some major life changes and in need of deep healing, but anyone who feels the need to learn about introspection, self-actualisation, and the nuances of living this human life to the fullest. It would be ideal if we all knew how to work through our “micro traumas” or difficulties in life in real-time, so they don’t grow into monsters lurking in the background and subconsciously influencing our behaviour. We offer you tools to achieve this, and a community that can help you get there.
To find out more about the group coaching programme, click here.
We hope you’ll join us on this journey.